Monday, June 13, 2016

Vaguely Inspirational Post

Hello Non-Existent Reader,

This is a procrastination post.

I'm having a hard time writing. I used to be fearless when writing. I'd fire off a Letter to the Editor to the Virginian-Pilot and see it published in days.

I could write a blog post that actually got impressions. I'd write long dramatic emails (usually tales of woe with lots of angst and anger).

I've started entering writing contests. I haven't entered very many, but I'm trying. I'm attempting to squash the negative what ifs in my mind- the fear that my writing isn't enough- that I'm wasting my time and that I'll never win.

But what if I do? 

Chasing dreams takes absolute courage. I keep reminding myself that I can do it. That every try is a chance- is an opportunity to succeed.



Saturday, June 11, 2016

Blogging is Dead

Hello Non-Existent Reader,

Blogging is dead. Idgaf. I still like to write, and one day, one silly day a million years from now, writing will pay off. Maybe not as a "lifestyle blogger"  as I have no "ootd post-everyday-style" (proof: instagram). Not a parent, so no mommyblogging (this one is funny though).

I don't steal memes, live-tweet my day, or swear, so I'm not a champion tweeter. I do tweet obnoxiously during the weekend, and occasionally, my tweets lean left. 

I guess this is a redundant blog post. Are affiliate links dead too?





Sunday, April 17, 2016

How to Perk Up A Drab Day

Hello Non-Existent Reader,


Thursdays are generally long and boring. The "S.H.I.T (Sorry Honey It's Thursday)" jokes are real.

I left work this past Thursday (4/14/16), tired and hungry. No big deal. I worked through my lunch break, spent a long time working with Excel.

While driving home through the stupid speed traps of Paradise Valley, I decided that a wilted spinach salad would just not do for dinner.

I stopped by an Albertsons for food, and was on my way. As I was leaving, the self-serve lotto ticket machine caught my eye. I put in some cash, got my tickets, and left.

I ate and scratched the tickets, throwing the losing tickets in the trash. I won $40. And then picked up a "Fire" red scratcher, and won. I won $500.

TL/DR: Won $500 off a scratcher after a long day.


Sunday, April 3, 2016

Welp- Spring's Here

Hello Non-Existent Reader,

I hope you are simply swell. Myself well, I'm alright.

I've been writing.

Maybe a summer update will bring exciting changes.


Sunday, January 31, 2016

Curing Writer's Block

Hello Non-Existent Reader,

I am a writer.

I am frequently plagued by Writer's Block. Sometimes, the inspiration floats just out of my reach. Other times, I'm just stuck and can't write a damn thing, no matter what I try.

Here are some tips to help cure writer's block. Read the entire post.

Effective Ways to Treat Writer's Block:

1) Write anyway
2) Write something else (even a to-do list)
3) Write something you hate
4) Exercise

Ineffective Ways to Treat Writer's Block:

1) Get incredibly drunk
2) Sleep
3) Eat excessive amounts of food  (may cause weight gain)
4) Stress out (may cause acne flair-ups)
5) Do nothing
6) Procrastinate forever
7) Give Up
8) Vow never to write again
9) Go grocery shopping for foods you will eat excessive amounts in a stress-fueled panic
10) Become jealous 

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Another Cliche Posting

Hello Non-Existent Reader,

I'm Baaaaack! With another cliche post about me. And the new year. And my resolutions.

My resolutions this year are pretty boring and totally status quo (lose weight, be a nice person).

Every year I make the same resolution: to write more. This resolution has been on my list since my freshman year of college. I've been pretty good with keeping it. I journal, start/outline/attempt to write short stories (and the occasional novel), write letters to the editor, and at one point in my career I was a headline writer/script writer.

But last year, I did not write enough. I barely kept my journal up-to-date. I didn't blog. I started another novel, but struggled to portray the characters as realistic (the characters were/are pretty horrible people).

This year, I'll finally get published- and paid for it. 

You just watch.

Peace out. 

Saturday, January 2, 2016

A SEO-Optimized Post (Sarcasm)

Hello Non-Existent Reader,

I don't blog much anymore. It's not that I have trouble writing, but there's a lot I don't want SEO to pick up for my blog. I don't want marketers and social media mavens to find my blog via Google Alerts. I really don't want my Twitter  or Instagram to be improperly found by robots.

I don't want to add photos of popular foods (avocados- the food of the month) or recipes that are easy to make and low fat and delicious- like this Caprese Salad. Or anything that mentions clean eating.

Caprese Salad with Avocado


#Hashtag #Google #Blog #CleanEating #inspiration